Today, I'm joined by Dr. Robert Glover. Robert is a therapist, coach, speaker, and author of the groundbreaking book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. This is a must-read for men who struggle with expressing their needs and setting healthy boundaries without feeling guilty or shame.
In our conversation, we explored how our childhood traumas set the stage for how we manage emotions and interact in our relationships and how to ditch those "covert contracts" we make with people, assuming they should read our minds and know what we want without us having to say it.
Robert shares practical advice on how to set boundaries in a way that doesn't alienate others and instead draws them in. You'll also hear about the 3 covert contracts that nice guys make with themselves that cause anger and frustration. We also bonded a bit by talking openly about how we handled disagreements in our own marriages, how easily we get triggered, and how to approach these moments with love the next time. Enjoy!
A Wide-Ranging Conversation Through…
00:00 Introduction
02:30 Early days of No More Mr. Nice Guy
13:19 The toxic extremes of nice guys and jerks
17:50 Identifying the two types of “nice guys”
26:29 The challenge of managing boundaries & shame
32:23 Three covert contracts that nice guys make
37:42 The link between our nervous system and triggers
48:50 Robert’s mindfulness routine for dealing with anxiety
1:02:02 How letting go brings us closer to the answers we seek
1:12:42 Boundaries are for me, not you
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