Here are the reasons why narcissists get married.
1. Image projection
Image is everything for a narcissist. They project the perfect image to get collective admiration, adoration, respect, acceptance & appreciation. They want to be seen as someone who has got it together, and that is where you come into the picture, as their spouse. They got married to you because they knew you were valuable, cherished, successful, or you had something that they could get admired. You're a trophy that was displayed to make them look great, compliant to the societal norms, to show their ideal family-oriented personality
and man/womanhood in front of the society with zero involvement in family growth. They treated your success, influence and social status as their own and lived and functioned through you, which makes this relationship entirely parasitic in nature. They took advantage of you by all means possible.
2. Primary source of supply that is always available.
They need a steady supply source, a readily available cheerleader, someone to listen to their relentless monologues, a personal assistant and a sex partner. All of this is possible if they can trap someone, and Marriage is one of the easiest ways to do so. In fact, Marriage is a social license for a narcissist to use their partner as a housemaid, sex partner and cook. For them, Marriage also means a way to insult, blame shift, project their insecurities and use you as an emotional dumping bag. They need an enslaved person, a supply, and a source of gratification. It is never about love, care or affection; it is all about the utility.
Before we move to number 3, how did the narcissist use you in the Marriage? Drop your experiences in the comments below to help other survivors feel validated
3. They are Opportunistic
If a narcissist knows getting married to you would get them a lot of connections, social recognition and money, they will match you without a second thought. They don't care about the kind of person you are or what you have to offer emotionally. They only care about what you can give them, How much you can give them and how wealthy they can become by associating with you. Once they have grabbed the opportunity and you are legally married, they'd steal it from you in every way they can, as if you worked your ass off for them to show up one day and take it all. If they need something and you can offer it, they would do everything they can to get you because you can give them what they can't get by themselves. They are opportunistic, like a cunning predator who waits stealthily for a hunt that is easy to prey on. Once they target you, they attack when you least expect them to. The other thing is that it's not always about money or connections. It could be having a family or having kids so they can get other sources of supply, like a mini cult of their own.
Money dispensing machine
By nature, a narcissist escapes responsibilities. They don't want to take the burden of the duties that they are obliged to fulfil. And like them to be fulfilled by others. They want someone to take the burden of their responsibilities and become the provider, the earner and the fulfiller of their wishes. They don't care about the consequences of their irresponsibility. All they care about is how to meet these desires through you. They get married to Make the other person feel obligated to make their dreams come true that they don't want to work for. If they wish for a great house to live in, they just have to demand it because they know you would provide it out of compulsion. If you don't, you are Either guilt-tripped, threatened with a nasty divorce Or controlled through abandonment. Like a coward, They escape the hardships of the natural world, But like a parasite, they get their needs met through others in a very selfish way.
Convenient source to get their sexual needs met.
A narcissist is interested in using a body, in having a go-to source that they can use To get their physical needs met. They don't care about emotional intimacy Or affection. By Getting married to you, they gain sole ownership Of your body and use it As they wish. Nobody can stop them or hold them accountable because They treat Marriage as a social license to abuse people. Once married, they use you whenever they want to, without caring about Your consent. They use force to violate you sexually if you do not give in. Once married, they can do whatever they want, knowing you won't leave quickly because you are trapped. They don't have to Love to bomb anyone Or wear the mask of fake Generosity, Compassion, Or intimacy To have sex. They can be monsters and simultaneously use your body out of their entitlement and grandiosity. They feed on your body Without giving it anything back.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:43 Image Projection
01:41 Primary source of supply
02:37 They are Opportunistic
03:51 Money Dispensing Machine
05:04 Convenient source to get their sexual needs met