Nothing captures the attention of a man like a woman. She is wonderful. She is a mystery. Beauty, Love, Sex—these things run deep in the heart of men. But femininity can feel like such a challenge to our masculinity. Learning to love a woman and fight for the heart are core to what it means to be a man.
REFLECT
1. Right now, at this point in your journey, are you hopeful about love and sexuality, or are you cynical? Why?
2. If you are married, how do you usually feel in the presence of your wife? Is it thrilled, loving, strong…or do you feel threatened? Like a boy?
3. How much of your life have you spent looking to the woman for validation? How has that gone for you?
SCRIPTURE
Prov. 30:18–19
There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand:
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden.
EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK, WILD AT HEART
There is something mythic in the way a man is with a woman.
Our sexuality offers a parable of amazing depth when it comes to being masculine and feminine. The man comes to offer his strength and the woman invites the man into herself, an act that requires courage and vulnerability and selflessness for both of them. Notice first that if the man will not rise to the occasion, nothing will happen. He must move; his strength must swell before he can enter her. But neither will the love consummate unless the woman opens herself in stunning vulnerability. When both are living as they were meant to live, the man enters his woman and offers her his strength. He spills himself there, in her, for her; she draws him in, embraces and envelops him. When all is over he is spent; but ah, what a sweet death it is.
And that is how life is created. The beauty of a woman arouses a man to play the man; the strength of a man, offered tenderly to his woman, allows her to be beautiful; it brings life to her and to many. This is far, far more than sex and orgasm. It is a reality that extends to every aspect of our lives. When a man withholds himself from his woman, he leaves her without the life only he can bring. This is never more true than with how a man offers—or does not offer—his words. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, says Proverbs (18:21). She is made for and craves words from him. I just went upstairs to get a glass of water from the kitchen; Stasi was in there baking Christmas cookies. The place was a mess; to be honest, so was she, covered with flour and wearing a pair of old slippers. But there was something in her eye, something soft and tender, and I said to her, “You look pretty.” The tension in her shoulders gave way; something twinkled in her spirit; she sighed and smiled. “Thank you,” she said, almost shyly.
If the man refuses to offer himself, then his wife will remain empty and barren. A violent man destroys with his words; a silent man starves his wife. “She’s wilting,” a friend confessed to me about his new bride. “If she’s wilting then you’re withholding something,” I said. Actually, it was several things—his words, his touch, but mostly his delight. There are so many other ways this plays out in life. A man who leaves his wife with the children and the bills to go and find another, easier life has denied them his strength. He has sacrificed them when he should have sacrificed his strength for them. What makes Maximus or William Wallace so heroic is simply this: they are willing to die to set others free.
RESOURCES:
Wild At Heart - The Book
https://a.co/d/j26fhng
Wild At Heart Study Guide
https://a.co/d/cTxTUOM
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