🚀 ALIENS DECLARED TOTAL WAR—BUT FORGOT TO ASK WHY NO EMPIRE EVER CONQUERED EARTH BEFORE 🌍
The Galactic Supreme Council makes their biggest mistake in 47,000 years when they decide to conquer the ONE planet that has mysteriously defeated every invasion attempt in galactic history. Armed with the largest military force ever assembled, they're about to discover why Earth remains unconquered—and it's not what they expected! 😂
💫 Prepare for a hilarious journey through bureaucratic nightmares, customer service warfare, and the most devastating weapon humanity never knew it possessed. This Douglas Adams-style comedy reveals the terrifying truth about why no galactic empire has ever successfully invaded our little blue planet.
🎭 Characters Featuring in This Story
Admiral Zrixia the Overwhelmingly Confident 💪 - A military commander whose unwavering self-assurance becomes her greatest weakness when faced with Earth's peculiar defense systems.
Blorthak the Magnificent 👁️ - Chairman of the Galactic Supreme Council, whose magnificence is mainly limited to shouting louder than anyone else in a room full of beings who evolved past vocal cords.
Gladys Trundlebottom 📋 - A cheerful Deputy Assistant to the Sub-Director of Extraterrestrial Affairs who treats galactic invasions like any other administrative procedure requiring proper documentation.
Mundbert Crankshaw ☕ - An ordinary convenience store clerk who accidentally becomes one of the most terrifying beings in the universe simply by doing his job with professional customer service standards.
Kleptonius the Perpetually Anxious 📚 - Chief Galactic Historian whose discovery of the missing invasion records sends him into the kind of nervous breakdown that causes minor gravitational distortions.
Dr. Nebblethwaite the Scientifically Certain 🔬 - An alien scientist who watches his understanding of physics crumble when he discovers Earth operates on "narrative logic" rather than universal laws.