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Can 4 Half-Orc Bards Survive Baldur's Gate 3?

BrilliantStupidity 131,534 1 year ago
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Tons of editing help from @deltakaizen **SPOILERS** Down to the heart of the grove, the battle raged, as we were forced into a corner. Da the goblins blew their dreadful horn and Lump charged in short order. In our darkest hour, Kagha crept with a vengeful stride, Seeking retribution for a Tiefling child we couldn't let subside. As we slayed Goblins left and right, she shot a moonbeam in our back So we popped her filthy eardrums and said “that is fucking that” Leonardis played his flute and swayed lump’s lumpy giant heart On our side he dined on goblins and some feathered little fart Kagha fell with all the druids, and the goblins at their side We and Lump then stood alone with quite a helping of some pride Then as we ran to force the goblins from the Grove they wished to sack Lump declared “my people need me” and disappeared just like that. Now alone, with many goblins, we had many things to fear But gunpowder and our friendship, were all we needed to hear “Please don’t explode on me x3” was our chant, that would soon bring them to tears We slayed goblins and then goblins and then goblins drinking beer Once we were coated with their blood we shifted focus on the drow She orchestrated this attack, and she must pay, but how? A paladin of mighty strength, but the dice were not her friend Several failed spells and strikes, would put her cruelty to an end We are triumphant, the druids grove has been saved from any pain The Half-Orc heroes had ensured the absolute shite were slain and they returned to Baldur's gate, to boast about their might They drowned in pussy, money, weed, and never again had to fight But before this tale ends, we have one more foe to smite Volo ventured to our camp, but he would not survive the night Grimgor swung his giant sword and it cleaved his skull in two Mediocrity incarnate, may he forever rest in doo doo The true moral of this tale, is forevermore as follows Orcs are bards and bards are orcs, say you elsewise and get fucking murdered. R.I.P BOZO, I’M GLAD WE ATE YOUR FUCKING CAT **MUSIC IN ORDER** Tons of music from BG3, but mostly Bard Dance, The Power, and Old Time Battles played by our 4 big beautiful bards. Aaron Kenny - Gaiety in the Golden Age Borislav Slavov | Quirky Bones | Divinity: Original Sin 2 Inside a House - The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker Sea of Theives - Maiden Voyage OST Spooky Scary Skeletons (Remix) The Sims 3 OST- Map View - Cartographer's symphony Delibes - Flower-Duet Divinity: Original Sin 2 OST - Mead, Gold & Blood (Ifan's Theme) Price - Persona 5 Fluffing a Duck by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ The Emperor's New Groove (PS1) - The Race Attacking Divine Beast Vah Naboris (Nearby) - The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Music Undertale Death by Glamour OST A Formidable Enemy (Full Version) – Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Original Soundtrack **TIMESTAMPS** 0:00 - Intro 0:47 - Gettin Big n Strong 4:04 - Graverobbing 5:51 - Rowdy Bri'ish Children 6:46 - Our Arch Nemesis 7:44 - Civilian Casualties I 9:26 - Extermination Side Gig 12:43 - Mom, Can We Keep It? 13:15 - Devious Scheming 14:07 - Unethical Shenanigan's 15:20 - Bad Slam Poetry 16:15 - Poor Life Choices 17:40 - Civilian Casualties II 18:34 - The Greatest Poem Ever Written

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