In this episode, my guest is Dr. Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside, an education platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss actionable protocols for raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids and effective alternatives to typical forms of reward and punishment that instead teach children valuable skills and strengthen the parent-child bond. These protocols also apply to other types of relationships: professional, romantic, friendships, siblings, etc.
We explain how to respond to emotional outbursts, rudeness, and entitlement, repair fractured relationships, build self-confidence, and improve interpersonal connections with empathy while maintaining healthy boundaries.
We also discuss how to effectively communicate with children and adults with ADHD, anxiety, learning challenges, or with “deeply feeling” individuals.
The conversation is broadly applicable to all types of social interactions and bonds. By the end of the episode, you will have learned simple yet powerful tools to build healthy relationships with kids, teens, adults, and oneself.
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Dr. Becky Kennedy
Good Inside website: https://www.goodinside.com
TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy
Good Inside book: https://www.goodinside.com/book
Podcast: https://www.goodinside.com/podcast
Newsletter: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drbeckyatgoodinside
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbeckyatgoodinside
Threads: https://www.threads.net/@drbeckyatgoodinside
Journal Articles
The tenacious brain: How the anterior mid-cingulate contributes to achieving goals: https://bit.ly/48p5SZW
Huberman Lab Episodes Mentioned
Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett: How to Understand Emotions: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/dr-lisa-feldman-barrett-how-to-understand-emotions
The Effects of Cannabis (Marijuana) on the Brain & Body: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/the-effects-of-cannabis-marijuana-on-the-brain-and-body
People Mentioned
Gabor Maté: physician and author: https://drgabormate.com
Ronald Fairburn: psychiatrist and psychoanalyst: https://psychoanalysis.org.uk/our-authors-and-theorists/ronald-fairbairn
James Hollis: Jungian psychoanalyst and author: https://jameshollis.net/welcome.htm
Timestamps
00:00:00 Dr. Becky Kennedy
00:02:44 Sponsors: Mateína, Joovv & AeroPress
00:07:35 Healthy Relationships: Sturdiness, Boundaries & Empathy
00:14:34 Tool: Establishing Boundaries
00:18:24 Rules, Boundaries & Connection
00:22:19 Rewards & Punishments; Skill Building
00:29:48 Sponsor: AG1
00:31:16 Kids & Inherent Good
00:34:06 Family Jobs, Validation & Confidence, Giving Hope
00:41:54 Rewards, Pride
00:44:48 Tool: “I Believe You”, Confidence & Safety; Other Relationships
00:52:15 Trauma, Aloneness & Repair
00:57:07 Tool: Repair & Apologies, Rejecting Apology
01:01:04 Tool: Good Apologies
01:03:35 Sponsor: InsideTracker
01:04:37 Tool: Rudeness & Disrespect, Most Generous Interpretation
01:12:32 Walking on Eggshells, Pilot Analogy & Emotional Outbursts, Sturdy Leadership
01:20:49 Deeply Feeling Kids; Fears, Sensory Overload
01:30:10 Co-Parenting Differences & Punishment
01:37:11 Tool: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); Meditation
01:41:20 Tool: Tolerating Frustration, Screen Time, Learning
01:51:57 Grace & Parenthood, Parenting Job Description; Relationship to Self
01:55:24 Tool: “I’m Noticing”, Asking Questions; Emotional Regulation
02:01:15 Adolescence & Critical Needs, Explorers vs. Nomads
02:09:58 Saying “I Love You”, Teenagers; Family Meetings
02:15:07 Self-Care, Rage & Boundaries; Sturdy Leaders; Parent Relationship & Conflict
02:22:08 Tool: Wayward Teens, Marijuana & Substance Use, Getting Additional Help
02:30:03 Mentors
02:34:26 Tool: Entitlement, Fear & Frustration
02:41:57 Tool: Experiencing Frustration; Chores & Allowance
02:46:31 Good Inside Platform
02:51:27 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter
#HubermanLab #Parenting #Relationships
Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac - https://www.blabacphoto.com
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