Have you ever confided in someone you wanted comfort from only to be told…
“It could be worse.”
“At least it wasn’t X, Y, or Z!”
“Look on the bright side…”
“I don’t know why you are making such a big deal…”
These are all examples of emotional invalidation.
Maybe you’ve even said these things to others, unintentionally invalidating them. This is common if we're high functioning codependents and other people's distress causes us distress.
But even if your heart is in the right place, emotional invalidation can damage your relationships.
That’s why in today’s episode, I’m breaking down what emotional invalidation is, discussing why so many of us are emotional invalidators, and offering ways to emotionally validate our loved ones so that we can strengthen our relationships.
Grab the free guide that goes along with this episode here: https://terricole.com/emotional-invalidation-guide
TIME STAMPS:
0:00 - Introduction
2:15 - What *is* emotional invalidation? And what's emotional validation?
4:00 - An example of emotional validation vs. invalidation
5:58 - Why emotional invalidation is so common
7:22 - Intentional emotional invalidation
7:54 - Unintentional emotional invalidation (high functioning codependents do this!)
10:33 - Examples of emotional invalidation (what to watch out for)
13:00 - What emotional validation looks like & what we can do
RELATED VIDEOS:
Beware of These Common Manipulation Tactics: https://youtu.be/XOQDvsK5qcA
When "Helping" is UN-Helpful: https://youtu.be/4BD1xs1GlbY
How to Create Emotionally Trustworthy Relationships: https://youtu.be/EdEksQKuFC4
What is Gaslighting? How to Avoid Mental Manipulation and Emotional Abuse: https://youtu.be/w6KBz4cXI_c
Imago Therapy (mentioned in the video): https://harvilleandhelen.com/initiatives/what-is-imago/
ABOUT TERRI COLE
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see https://www.terricole.com/
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Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency: https://hfcbook.com
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The Boundary Boss Workbook: https://amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
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