Hello, lovely humans! Care to take a look at the nuances underlying friends with benefits relationships as a relationship structure which diverges from amatonormativity? Well, you're in the right spot.
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SOURCES (in general order of reference)
“Human Monogamy Has Deep Roots” by Blake Edgar (2016)
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/human-monogamy-has-deep-roots/
"Harsh environments promote alloparental care across human societies" by Martin et. al (2020)
https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rspb.2020.0758
"Is Play Behavior Sexually Dimorphic in Monogamous Species?" by Chau et. al (2008)**
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1439-0310.2008.01543.x
"Born Both Ways: The Alloparenting Hypothesis for Sexual Fluidity in Women" by Kuhle and Radtke (2013)**
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/147470491301100202
"Minimizing Marriage" by Elizabeth Brake (2012)
https://www.google.ca/books/edition/Minimizing_Marriage/PyIdfgo5etAC?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover
"Tess of the D’Urbervilles" by Thomas Hardy (1891)
"The fascinating history of how courtship became ‘dating’" by Larry Getlen (2016)
https://nypost.com/2016/05/15/the-fascinating-history-of-how-courtship-became-dating/
"Online Dating Market Size, Share & Trends Analysis Report By Platform" (2022)
https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/online-dating-market-report#:~:text=The global online dating market size was estimated at USD,USD 10.49 billion in 2023.
"The Virtues and Downsides of Online Dating" by Anderson et. al (2020)
https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/02/06/the-virtues-and-downsides-of-online-dating/
"QUEER PEOPLE HAVE MASTERED SEXUAL FRIENDSHIPS — AND IT’S TIME YOU STRAIGHTS CAUGHT ON" by Ian Kumamoto (2022)
https://www.mic.com/identity/queer-people-sexual-friendships
"The Infinite Possibilities of Queer Friendships" by Sohel Sarkar (2021)
https://www.wellandgood.com/queer-friendships/
"Are We Exclusive | Friends With Benefits | Side x Side | Cut" (2022)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeG188bszLI
"Pleasure Activism" by adrienne maree brown (2019)
Reddit thread: “Why would you be in a fwb relationship with someone who you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with?” on r/datingadvice (2018)
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/b7qmrg/why_would_you_be_in_a_fwb_relationship_with/
"Friends With Benefits" film (2011)
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My name is Elle (they/them) and I'm genderfluid, aromantic, and perhaps predominantly a relationship anarchist. I do enjoy putting my ideas about these intersections out onto the internet for you to hear, and I hope you do, too.
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CHAPTERS
0:00 overview & definitions
2:04 amatonormativity
3:36 monogamy, marriage & purity
9:47 courtship to dating culture
13:07 dating venues & hyper-specificity
16:45 queer culture
19:24 friends with benefits thoughts