I was just trying to enjoy my peaceful Sunday morning when my entitled HOA president Karen decided my backyard would be perfect for her unauthorized yoga classes. What would you do if someone broke into your property and tried to claim it as their own in the name of "community spirit"? Welcome to my channel, please subscribe if you want more Karen and HOA stories. I cherished my Sunday mornings. Living in Maple Grove Estates meant following strict HOA rules, but my backyard was my private oasis. That morning, the smell of fresh coffee filled my kitchen as I watched birds splash in my garden fountain. The peace lasted exactly three sips into my coffee. "Oh my, this space is absolutely perfect!" The voice made me jump, spilling coffee on my new rug. There she was – Karen Matthews, our HOA president, her bleached-blonde head poking over my privacy fence like a nosy giraffe. She stood on what I could only guess was a stepladder on her side of the fence. "Karen, you scared me," I said, stepping onto my patio. "Is something wrong with my yard?" I immediately worried about another violation notice. Last month, she'd cited me for having wind chimes that were "too musical."
"Wrong? No, no, darling! Everything is perfect!" She beamed, waving her hands excitedly. "The energy here is just divine. My yoga students will absolutely love it!" I blinked, wondering if I'd heard her correctly. "Your... yoga students?" "Yes! I'm starting Karma's Kitchen Table Yoga. It's very exclusive." She emphasized the word 'exclusive' like it was supposed to impress me. "I've been looking for the perfect outdoor space, and your yard has such wonderful feng shui!" My mouth fell open as she continued describing her plans for my backyard – where she'd put her essential oil diffusers, how she'd arrange the yoga mats, and something about crystal grids for energy alignment. "Karen," I interrupted, keeping my voice level, "I'm not interested in hosting yoga classes in my backyard. It's private property." Her smile flickered for a split second. "Oh, don't be silly! As HOA president, I know we need more community activities. The bylaws clearly state—" "The bylaws don't give you the right to use my private property," I said firmly. "I'm sorry, but the answer is no."
Karen's perfectly penciled eyebrows drew together. "I've already mentioned it to the ladies at the book club. They're very excited." She said this like it should change my mind completely. "That's unfortunate, but you shouldn't have promised them something without asking me first." "Listen," she leaned further over the fence, lowering her voice. "I could overlook that unauthorized bird fountain installation I noticed last week. We help each other out – that's what good neighbors do." My heart raced at the threat, but I stood my ground. "The fountain was approved last year, Karen. I have the paperwork." She straightened up, her friendly mask slipping. "Well, paperwork can be... misplaced. Things get lost in filing all the time." With that, she disappeared behind the fence. I heard the scrape of her stepladder being moved. I went inside and poured myself a fresh cup of coffee, hands shaking slightly. I should have known the day would get worse when I checked my mailbox that afternoon. Glossy flyers advertised "Sunrise Serenity: Backyard Yoga with Karen" starting next week – at my address.
Through my kitchen window, I watched Karen walk door to door, chatting with neighbors and gesturing toward my yard. Several people glanced my way, nodding at whatever she was telling them. My phone buzzed with a text from my neighbor Sarah: "Did you really agree to host Karen's yoga classes? That's so nice of you!"