On the previous episode of Being Well, we talked about how to identify our wants and needs. But identifying our needs is just the first step. After that comes the tricky business of coming to terms with those needs, and communicating them effectively to other people.
In this episode, Dr. Rick Hanson and I explore best practices for claiming and expressing our needs. This includes how to navigate shame and inhibition, make effective agreements, be considerate of the person on the receiving end of our wants, and become more skillful at negotiation and repair.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:55 What supports people in getting real about meeting their needs?
7:05 Suppressing needs due to challenges around self-worth
8:40 Patience, making your offering, and tipping points
11:55 Inhibitions and negotiating our needs with other people
18:50 Non-Violent Communication and Wise Speech models of communication
27:00 The need for multiple cycles of communication
29:55 Expecting defeat and two big pain moments
33:30 Addressing the broader topic of keeping agreements
39:15 Confidence in the ability to repair
41:20 Considering the person on the receiving end of your want
45:00 Generosity
47:25 Questions to ask when feeling uncertain how to express a need
52:00 Death by a thousand cuts and facing discomfort
54:40 Asking others–what else do you want from me?
57:20 Recap
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Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (https://amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (https://apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
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