Do you reluctantly agree to things you’d rather not do because you don’t know how to
say no?
When you’re annoyed about something, do you say everything is FINE rather than
saying what’s bothering you?
Do you also tend to judge someone if they don’t pick up on how you really feel?
In these situations, there’s an expectation that people will intuit our true emotions from
the clues we drop.
However, relying on indirect communication can cause stress and resentment in our
relationships because how we feel isn’t always apparent to others, even if we feel like it
is.
The solution is authentic and direct communication, which is usually less comfortable,
and why we often act rather than talk things out!
I want to empower you to choose to talk and assert your needs, which is what this
episode is about. I’ll cover why we find it hard to speak our minds, why we may find it
easier to judge and blame others, and ideas for being more authentic in our
communication.
Grab the guide for the episode: https://www.terricole.com/less-assuming-more-speaking-up-guide
Time Stamps
0:00 - Introduction
3:03 - Why speaking up matters
3:55 - Why we avoid speaking up
6:52 - Dealing with resentment
8:50 - Positive projection
12:11 - Shifting into empowerment
15:44 - The assumptions we make
17:23 - Our fear makes sense
If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos
https://youtu.be/2_SZ1qjF7TY - Afraid to Speak Up For Yourself? How to Talk True
https://youtu.be/VSy1yzvAF0w - Boundary Setting Success: How You Say It Matters (Examples Inside)
https://youtu.be/UHKa_9CPrNY - How to Set Boundaries With Friends
https://youtu.be/cMos52zoK_E - Want More Fulfilling Relationships? 3 Tips to Identify Your Emotional Needs
About Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency.
For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs.
She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over 450,000 people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see https://www.terricole.com/
Connect With Me
Instagram: https://terricole.com/ig
Membership: https://terricole.com/tcm
Newsletter: https://terricole.com/newsletter
Resources
Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency: https://hfcbook.com
Boundary Boss Book: https://amzn.to/44DZID9
The Boundary Boss Workbook: https://amzn.to/3Ra7CRU
Insight Timer: https://insig.ht/cpKnbJB4KDb (I have a bunch of free meditations on here and love this app!)
BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/terricole
I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources.
https://www.terricole.com/gethelp/ -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help.
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