Hello everyone, this is Miku🌼
I'm going to try writing something like a postscript for the first time in a while.
When I first started on YouTube, I think I used to write down all sorts of thoughts in this summary section, but “becoming used to things” isn't a good thing.
When I first started posting videos, I was making trial and error efforts with the earnest hope that “even just one person would find this channel...!”, but now, four years later, I think that “becoming used to things” and “being spoiled” have increased compared to those days.
While I was making a summary of the videos I've made from August to November at the end of the year, I reflected on my work a little, but I also realized that I was able to discover this complacency with my work because I've been able to continue doing it up to this point.
This year, instead of “enjoying myself dancing on the landing”, I made a promise to myself to “get on with what I need to do”.
So, although there were a couple of times when the usual posting date was delayed, I think I didn't take any video breaks this year. I'll check the dates later, but from what I remember, I don't think I took any video breaks.
After doing video posts for four years, I think I've become a bit too used to it and my standards have become a little lax.
I think that YouTubers are a bit like serial manga artists (I'm not even close to the level of a busy manga artist, but I'm just trying to make a comparison... please don't take offense...), and after finishing the video on a Friday, I feel like I'm in a never-ending marathon, preparing for the next Friday's video.
This cycle, where you never know when it will end. Well, it will end if I decide to quit YouTube myself, but that's not going to happen anytime soon.
I'm living here now, and I've met so many people through YouTube, so I don't think I want to finish this marathon just yet, but I'm constantly battling the temptation to take a break.
For the past four years, I've been fighting against this temptation, but this year, I've decided to do lots of fun things to enjoy myself, like “dancing on the landing” by making time to go outside and meet people.
I would make videos in advance for the weeks when I had fun plans.
There were times when I was making three videos (including corporate projects) at the same time in a week.
I was just doing what was natural as part of my job, but I think that doing things like that continuously led to a small sense of familiarity developing.
I'd like to always keep my initial motivation, but I'm not a perfect person, so while I reflect on the small sense of familiarity that has developed, I'd also like to praise myself for doing what I set out to do this year!
As I was watching the videos, I thought to myself, “I was so cheerful this year”. lol
I've been recording my daily life for four years, so when I compare my old videos with the new ones, I can see that my face when I'm smiling is different.
I played with lots of friends, I had lots of conversations with my boyfriend, we traveled together, and I started learning new things.
I think it was a very fulfilling year.
Even though I was not good at socializing, it was a year in which I met some really wonderful people.
There were a lot of difficult things, but thanks to the people around me, I think I was always able to spend my time smiling.
I think I've finally become a little more mature, as I've learned to be grateful to other people.
I was really bad at relating to other people.
After such a year, I want to go and see the 'lonely me' again next year.
It feels like, “What? After finally being able to have a heart for other people, you're going to go and shut yourself away again?”, but after all, everything is about balance.
I want to establish myself by going back and forth like a pendulum.
Next year, I want to take in the things I gained this year and let them sink in on my own.
The word 'loneliness' sounds negative, but it's a 'happy loneliness'.
My future.
The future of the people around me.
I want to think about these things slowly and create a good future.
I often say that “I am responsible for my own life”, and I want to make this year one where I can firmly establish that.
That's how I feel.
So, next year I'm going to enjoy my “happy solitude”!
Thank you for enjoying Living Alone Diaries this year!
I look forward to seeing you again next year.
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