CMIZapper - MagSafe Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc5ttwMPWbw
Working theory about this one is an issue with the SMC's OneWire line. I should've looked at the U7000 area, which is the chip that goes between the SMC and adaptor. However, given that a fake charger gives a green light, it seems unlikely that there's a problem with U7000. The next step back is the SMC itself having a busted OneWire line.
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