This video is about the sexual shame I experienced having my first kiss at the altar and dealing with vaginismus after saving sex for marriage. I also explain the mindset I was in when I got married as a result of being raised in purity culture. I share some groups that influenced my worldview, including Focus on the Family, Above Rubies, and the Duggar family.
Thanks so much for watching!
[Podcasts Mentioned]
“Focus on Your Own Family: Response to Focus on the Family’s Jim Daly” by Bradley Onishi: https://anchor.fm/straightwhiteamericanjesu/episodes/Focus-on-Your-Own-Family-Response-to-Focus-on-the-Familys-Jim-Daly-etqs71/a-a53gi27
“Weekly Roundup: The Problem with the Focus on the Family” by Bradley Onishi and Dan Miller: https://anchor.fm/straightwhiteamericanjesu/episodes/Weekly-Roundup-The-Problem-with-the-Focus-on-the-Family-eujj2f/a-a56rsqn
[Vaginismus]
“Vaginismus Can Cause (and Be Caused By) Emotional Trauma, But Healing Is Possible” by Corinne Kai: https://www.allure.com/story/vaginismus-mental-health-causes-painful-sex
[Purity Culture Resources]
“Don’t Just ‘Reframe’ Purity Culture—Rethink the Whole Concept” by T.F. Charlton: https://rewirenewsgroup.com/article/2...
“Give Me Sex Jesus” Documentary by Matthew Barber: https://vimeo.com/137784146
"Purity Culture & White Supremacy" by Tori Williams Douglass: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6vr1...
"Emily Joy Allison Wrote the Book on # ChurchToo | Exvangelical" by Blake Chastain with Amy Congdon: https://www.exvangelicalpodcast.com/e...
"A Place in the Middle" by PBS Hawaii: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIQ5f...
“Unlike a Virgin: Exploring My Sexuality as an Asian American Christian” by Emily Lu Gao: https://mochimag.com/our-voices/unlik...
“How An Evangelical Dating Guide and Purity Culture Gave Me An Anxiety Disorder” by Hannah Brashers: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/i-kiss...
"Being a Woman of Color in Purity Culture with Asha Dahya" by Bradley Onishi with Asha Dahya: https://anchor.fm/straightwhiteamericanjesu/episodes/Being-a-Woman-of-Color-in-Purity-Culture-with-Asha-Dahya-etvhuf/a-a5ir2u4
[Timestamps]
00:00 - Purity Culture & Sexual Shame
00:42 - Religious and social context
01:58 - Focus on the Family, Above Rubies, & the Duggars
04:47 - My first kiss at the altar
07:22 - Vaginismus after saving sex for marriage
11:41 - Sexual safety in relationships
[Background Music]
Title: Hold Your Hand
https://www.hooksounds.com
Image description: Elly is white with brown eyes and shoulder-length brown hair. She is wearing a yellow shirt with small white flowers on it, sitting in front of a bed as she talks to the camera. There is a string of lights draped on the wall behind her.
#PurityCulture #Exvangelical #Vaginismus #SexualShame #Quiverfull #Cult