I know I said I'd never do a talk about Bruckner boxes, but you asked for it, so here they are, some two dozen of them. The situation with Bruckner is a mess, because not only have the same conductors done multiple cycles of the symphonies, you also have to deal with their various versions--which means that theoretically equivalent cycles may not even contain the same works. That's beyond annoying. So I offer this talk as a guide through the Brucknerian wilderness, confident in the knowledge that there are a few consistently fabulous sets out there that you can buy with complete confidence.