I went back and forth so many times about whether I should share this but in not doing so, I have felt disconnected from my content and my anxiety has gone into overdrive. My PhD has become such a fundamental tenant of my identity online and personally over the past four+ years at Yale and I think this relationship with my sense of 'self' has caused me and my digital community a lot of confusion. That being said, I don't want to hide or keep private the very real challenges this decision has caused (I have been in the worst mental state in the past two months than I have in a long time). I feel a duty to myself and to you to be honest about what this process is like and how much it has impacted me and my confidence, but also to show how decisions this big take time but also community in order to figure out the right path forward.
I am so grateful for this space you have leant me in your day and for allowing me to share these moments free of judgement. I hope to hold the same space for you and encourage you to not see these moments and insecurities as a failing. We're only human after all. And I hope that this serves as a reminder to recognize the beauty in remembering the beginning and getting in touch with our why, but also leaning on your support systems (near and far), no matter how long it takes or how difficult it is to get there ❤️
Best,
Kaelyn (your multi-passionate friend who is trying to figure things out one day at a time)
Title: Do I Stay? or Do I Go? | A PhD Student's Search for Meaning
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Thank you for watching and supporting my content.
x Kaelyn