THE LAST ONE ON THE LIST OF MY WIFE’S LOVERS WAS THE HEAD OF SECURITY. A HUGE, HAIRY GUY WHO ALWAYS WANDERED AROUND WITH HIS TWO DOBERMANS. I SPENT A LONG TIME THINKING ABOUT WHAT TO DO WITH HIM… UNTIL IT HIT ME—HIS OWN DOGS COULD BE THE PERFECT "KARMA DELIVERY SYSTEM." THE DOGS FOUND HIS BODY IN THE BACKYARD. HE HAD NO PANTS ON AND… YEAH, HIS BALLS WERE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. "WAIT… DID YOU SERIOUSLY FEED THEM TO HIS DOGS?" ASKED MY COMBAT VETERAN FRIEND, UNSURE WHETHER TO LAUGH OR BE HORRIFIED. "OF COURSE. THEY EARNED A TREAT FOR THEIR LOYAL SERVICE," I SAID, STARING AT THE PHOTO IN THE NEWS. BUT FOR MY WIFE… I HAD A SPECIAL, FAR MORE BRUTAL PUNISHMENT IN MIND.