Trans hope form: https://forms.gle/QAZpSEBrgpbe3VMVA
Here is the full submission:
"Here's a heavy one for you- I came out to my partner a few years ago and although he was phenomenally supportive in some aspects, he had a lot else going on to occupy his emotional headspace and wasn't ready for me to publicly identify as a man and re-define himself as gay, so I held off on medical transition and asked people to use he or they pronouns depending on the context (most people just kept using she though). We'd been together nearly 9 years and impatient as I was getting with it never being the right time to progress things, I knew he means everything to me and that I'd rather wait decades than lose him as a partner. But one day he suddenly died from an undiagnosed heart problem, and I don't know if he really knew that I would always prioritise our relationship over my transition because the last thing he said to me was that he had no hope for the future because I'm trans. I'll never know if his heart attack gave him a sense of doom and he loved me so much that no future with me was his interpretation of doom, or if he couldn't love me as a trans man and it broke his heart and contributed to his death. I'm an atheist and my take on the afterlife is that we have no good evidence either for or against one, but that if there isn't one then we won't be around to find out; so with someone so important to me 'on the other side' as it were, I intend to live my life on the assumption that he might still exist and I might get to see him again. It is in itself very much a hope rather than a belief, but I wonder if you've any wisdom to apply to how I can have hope that he loves me for who I am and wouldn't disapprove of my transition now that his body is just ash anyway. I've been on T for 5 weeks now and whilst I've no doubt that I'm trans, I feel immense guilt with everything that goes well because I know it's only happening because he died, and because I'm moving away from the body he loved at a far greater rate than just aging; and I feel guilt at everything that might not go well because then it seems like I shouldn't have mentioned the whole thing and put him through that. Plus my mum is 'concerned' and 'doesn't get it' and sometimes asks how I could do that to my partner, which is the worst thing anyone could say to me. Obviously one can't ask dead people how they feel about things so I just have to hope that if he still exists then he knows how much I love him and he still loves me, but it's a significant and difficult hope to cultivate. No worries if you don't want to talk about it, I know it's a bit niche, but I find your videos so wise and uplifting , I thought I'd fill the form in to offer you this as a topic in case it is something that you think would make a good section in a hope video. Thanks for your channel, it's much appreciated."
p.s. to OP: hopefully this video was interesting/helpful/uplifting for you. I really appreciated your submission. Sorry if I veered away from your specific situation too much!