In today's video I discuss why it can be hard for scapegoat survivors to find and get close to safe people as they recover from narcissistic abuse. Survivors at this stage may be determined to catch and repel the kind of narcissistic abuse they used to have to accept. One way they may do this is to move away from others whenever they feel bad around them. This approach may interfere with learning that some of these others may be imperfect rather than dangerous. An imperfect but safe person might occasionally act in ways that lead you to feel bad. However, they may still care about your feelings, express genuine remorse if those feelings get hurt and earnestly try not to repeat such injuries. I will explain how the scapegoat child's template for closeness can lead to feeling bad in close relationships and create doubt that others will care that they feel this way. It is not possible to never feel bad in a close relationship. But, we can expect that the other person will care if and when our feelings get hurt. Watch until the end because I will show how to use this principle to distinguish imperfect yet safe people from dangerous people today.
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