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When an emotionally unavailable man pulls away and then returns months or even years later, it can leave you confused and emotionally drained. This back-and-forth dynamic often happens because these men are unable to sustain a deep emotional connection, yet they still want the comfort of having you as an option. When they initially leave, they might feel overwhelmed by the depth of intimacy or pressure to commit, only to come back when they realize that they miss the emotional safety and attention you provided. You may find yourself wondering, why he keeps coming back or will he come back to me? But the truth is, his return isn’t about genuine change—it's often about seeking temporary comfort or validation.
This cycle of rejection and re-engagement can be brutal, leaving you stuck in an emotional limbo. Every time he came back after pulling away, you might feel hopeful that things will be different this time, only to find yourself heartbroken again. This constant push and pull keeps you emotionally invested, wasting valuable years of your life hung up on someone who isn’t willing to give you what you truly deserve. When he came back after no contact, it might feel like a sign that you’re meant to be together, but more often than not, it’s simply a way for him to regain control over your emotions. The cycle continues as long as you allow it, keeping you from finding true fulfillment in a healthy relationship.
To break free from this dynamic, you have to recognize that my ex came back doesn’t mean he’s changed or that things will improve. Moving on for good requires building strong emotional boundaries and understanding your own worth. Stop engaging in the fantasy of “what if” and focus on creating a life where you’re the priority, not an afterthought. When you detach from the emotional rollercoaster, you open yourself up to the possibility of a healthy, loving relationship that aligns with your needs and desires.
In my years as a self love coach, I’ve guided my clients from every possible heartbreaking scenario and breakup, and given them the tools they need to heal their trauma and learn the discipline of self love, so they can embody their most true, authentic and confident self!
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