Being born a wandering albatross sounds majestic until you realize you're basically stuck in a lifelong long-distance flight with zero snacks and no idea where you're going. These birds hatch looking like confused cotton balls, get yeeted out of the nest after months of waiting, and then just... start flying. For years. Alone. No GPS. Just vibes. You won’t even touch land again for a casual five to ten years because apparently walking is beneath you. Dating? Good luck. You’ll have to perform a deeply awkward dance that looks like interpretive sneezing just to find a mate.
Why It Sucks to Be Born as a Wandering Albatross