*WORK WITH US*
1-1 Coaching: https://www.simplytogether.co/coaching/
*QUIZ*
Is My Partner An Avoidant?: https://www.simplytogether.co/is-your-partner-an-avoidant-quiz/
*PROGRAMS*
Attach An Avoidant: https://www.simplytogether.co/attach-an-avoidant/
Get Him Back: https://www.simplytogether.co/get-him-back/
Get Her Back: https://www.simplytogether.co/get-her-back/
Rebuild Your Relationship: https://simplytogether.teachable.com/p/rebuild-your-relationship
▶️ *WATCH NEXT* Karolina (anxious) confronts Gabriel (avoidant) about power games https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhpl96zW5vc&list=PL5uNYeU_tJpIFUiuuz01-U06jKn9TmJUi&index=2
🎧 *PREFER TO LISTEN?*
Audio Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2489248/follow
Avoidants act like they don’t get anxious... but is that actually the case? In this video, we dig into what’s *really* going on beneath the surface when someone has an avoidant attachment style.
We explore why avoidants pretend not to worry, how anxiety can show up as doubt, and what’s happening when they keep their options open. You’ll hear how the anxious-avoidant cycle creates confusion on both sides, and what actually makes avoidants feel anxious. Even if they never admit it.
We also unpack how abandonment wounds, power dynamics, and emotional self-protection drive avoidant behavior, and why letting go can sometimes be the key to shifting everything.
Whether you’re anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in the middle, this conversation will help you understand the deeper emotional layers at play, and why it's important to stop chasing someone who’s pulling away.
⏭️ *CHAPTERS*
00:00 - Intro
01:31 - Why do avoidants pretend to not worry?
04:22 - Do avoidants get anxious?
07:32 - What avoidants actually feel is doubt
09:04 - When avoidants keep their options open
11:34 - Avoidants and anxious can feel equally confused
15:09 - How anxious try to fix avoidant relationships
17:11 - Finding balance between chasing & withdrawing
18:21 - The actual complexity of relationships
19:51 - How to get an avoidants to feel anxious
20:21 - Avoidants tendency to self-isolate & be passive
23:29 - How abandonment wounds play into the dynamic
24:40 - Attachment styles are fluid & are about power
28:50 - The importance of letting go…
30:48 - Flipping power dynamic can be difficult for anxious
32:23 - Why are avoidants this way?
33:12 - Wrap up