Alright team, this is one of the biggest guides yet! There were a TON of requests to cover this one, so I happily obliged. This attachment style is also called "disorganized attachment", and I've worked with a ton of men who have it. So let's dig in on what fearful-avoidant attachment is, how it affects relationships, and how to move back towards something more secure, authentic, and thriving with easy, deliberate steps.
(00:00:00) - Intro and defining fearful-avoidant attachment, and how conflicting it can feel
(00:08:20) - Where this attachment style starts, and what makes it different from anxious and avoidant
(00:13:50) - What does fearful-avoidant look like in a relationship?
(00:16:19) - What builds a fearful-avoidant style? Neglect and/or inconsistency
(00:24:22) - One of the most important (and unspoken) needs of a child
(00:29:19) - Parentification, one of the most common causes of fearful-avoidant attachment
(00:32:35) - Exposure to heightened levels of conflict
(00:38:24) - On being disappointed by others, protection from rejection, and concentration
(00:43:10) - So what do we do? Two BIG steps
(00:46:58) - On how to self-regulate/self-soothe, and starting with the breath
(00:52:02) - Find someone to help you work with your hypervigilance
(00:55:00) - Develop consistent connection with your partner (or with friends). Here’s how
(00:58:56) - Build trust. Slowly. Over time
(01:01:53) - Set boundaries with the fear-based thoughts in your head
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